Lost In Your 30s? Here's How To Build More Confidence
You're in your 30s, you're feeling lost, you're doubting your decisions, and you're sick of feeling that way.
You feel like you should have your shit together, you feel like you should be more confident by now and you're done with living a life that you're not that excited about.
You're scared to take a risk in case you fail. You're scared of judgement from your friends, your family, strangers on Instagram. You're scared that you'll do something brave and then realise that it's not actually what you wanted.
It's time to get over your fears and to start living the life that you actually want to so you don't wind up at 80 years old, looking back on your life full of regrets.
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Lost In Your 30s? Here's How To Build More Confidence
In this video, I'll be revealing the simple yet powerful concept that will take you from feeling lost and not enough, to feeling confident every single day so at 80 years old, you can look back on your life with pride that you actually lived the way you wanted to.
Watch the video below or scroll down to read the transcript instead.
How to Build More Confidence
You want to feel confident. You want to make bold decisions. You want to start living the life that you have always dreamed of, the one that's been on your vision board for ages…
And how do you do that?
This is where The 90/90 Mindset Concept comes in.
Now, The 90/90 Mindset Concept is a concept I created to help you feel confident in yourself every single day so you can go after the dreams you’ve always wanted.
There are three core principles of The 90/90 Mindset Concept.
The first core principle is the idea that you only need to be 90% confident, 90% of the time to achieve what you want in life.
This allows you to be human because we have to be realistic. We cannot be 100% confident, 100% percent of the time. If that's what you're striving for, you’re setting yourself up for failure before you've even started.
So allow yourself to be human 10% of the time and the other 90% of the time have the confidence to be bold, to make brave decisions and to feel good in yourself every single day.
The 90/90 Mindset Concept came from my experience of having zero self confidence when I was in my 20s. I went from a space where I was too afraid to leave the house. I had crippling anxiety, terrible panic attacks, bouts of IBS and it made me frightened to go out anywhere.
I couldn't get on public transport. I couldn't go to the supermarket without my mum being with me. My life was literally spent driving from home to work and back again. My weekends were spent in my bedroom, watching people live their life on YouTube, ordering stuff that I'd never be confident enough to wear on ASOS, wishing I was someone else and wishing that I didn't have these fears that made me terrified to actually go out anywhere.
It took nearly being fired from my job for me to realise that I wasn't living my life, that I was only existing (just about), and in that moment I made a promise to myself that I would do whatever it took for me to actually live my life.
I committed to overcoming my fears, to saying yes to everything that scared me and to building the self confidence that I really envied in other people, so that I could actually live my life.
It wasn't even about living a big grand life, it was just about doing everyday things that other people seemed to do so easily.
The Second Core Principle of The 90/90 Mindset Concept
The second core principle of The 90/90 Mindset Concept is the idea that you only need 90 seconds of confidence to actually take an action or make a decision that can change your life.
So outside of these 90 seconds, it doesn't matter if you're doubting yourself, it doesn't matter if you're not feeling confident, but you take those 90 seconds to ask for the pay rise, to publish the post on social media, to apply for the promotion, to ask the guy out that looks hot in the coffee queue.
It's about using that 90 seconds to do something that can future benefit you and then afterwards you can freak out about it. It doesn't matter, you've taken the bold action.
The THird Core Principle of The 90/90 Mindset Concept
The third core principle of The 90/90 Mindset Concept is the idea that there are three key layers of confidence you need to focus on building every single day.
These layers are Think Confident, Act Confident and Feel Confident.
Now, the Think layer is all about changing your inner narrative. So it's challenging those negative thoughts, changing the thoughts that tell you that you can't do something, or you're not good enough to achieve something, or you'll never reach a certain goal. It's about changing that and building a more positive, empowering mindset that encourages you to take risks, to take the brave action, to go after the things that you want.
Then the Act layer is all about the practical actions you can do on a daily basis to make you feel good. These are actions like wearing an outfit that makes you feel good, putting on a perfume that instantly brings confidence into you, putting on a piece of jewellery because it makes you feel good about yourself. It could be things like adjusting your posture, simply sitting up straight instantly makes you feel more confident in yourself.
The second part of the Act Confident layer is the idea that confidence comes from taking action. There’s only so much confidence that we can create when we work on our mindset.
When we do the things that scare us, we create more confidence by being able to say “Oh my God, I did that thing that I didn't think I was able to do”. We build up this proof list of experiences that we didn't think we could do and because of this, confidence comes from taking action.
The third layer of confidence is the Feel Confident layer. And this is about conjuring up feelings of confidence into your body on a daily basis. So rather than waiting to feel confident, or waiting to do something and then going, “Oh, actually that's made me feel good”, it's about bringing the feelings of confidence into your body on a normal day.
Now I like to do this best in the morning. So when I wake up in the morning, I like to lay down and visualise confidence flooding my body so that before I even get out of bed in the morning, I'm already feeling good in myself. I'm ready to take brave action, to be bold, to show up on social media, to do the things that I need to do in order to keep me moving forward in my life.
And I actually have the exact visualisation that I use available to you for free inside The Confidence Kit.
To help you build the confidence you need to dramatically transform your life and to actually go after the life that you want, you can join the Confident AF, which is my confidence boosting membership where you can receive weekly, personalised coaching from me around whatever topic you are struggling with at that time.
Read next: Unlock daily self confidence when you learn the powerful techniques inside my confidence kit.
